That's really good," rather than scowling and running to the trash to spit out their ideas. ), the writer also uses sensory details (things you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch) to make the narrative come alive for readers. Some people insist it is redundant to say "ATM machine" because ATM means Automated Teller Machine. Writing concisely is a great skill--useful for 200-word conference abstracts, 7000-word articles, elegant emails and effective cover letters. For example, if you use a word like “sneaky,” people can interpret that a couple different ways. Imagine being the first person to say something as clever as "She fell head over heels in love" or "She's cool as a cucumber." Have a volunteer read the sample paragraph. The reason for the three parts are the reader's experience: the topic sentence helps the person know what is coming, the body sentences explain the topic sentence, and the final sentence tells the reader what she or he has read. Help students understand that they can't persuade by showing how the position helps them (the writers). You are going to have them read Romeo and Juliet and learn about infinitives and participles. It is to appeal to a resistant audience and convince them of the validity of the point. Problems with Unclear Sentence Constructions-- short, declarative sentences are easier to comprehend than lengthy narratives. Here are 10 tips that I have gleaned over time. Woodlands have grown in area because of the fact that farmers have abandoned their fields. What I mean to say is that well intentioned lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves. They are connected. Occasionally, an abbreviation — like CD, ATM — becomes more of an idea unto itself than a shortened version for a set of words, and the abbreviation ought to be allowed to act as modifier. It’s also likely to be more memorable and make a lasting impact on your reader. That is, they have a literal meaning (denotation) and an emotional or understood meaning (connotation). In the event that enough people protest, it will probably be revoked. In a very real sense, this policy works to the detriment of those it is supposed to help. 5 Steps to Writing Concise and Clear Website Copy (With Examples) In copywriting, clarity and concision are the keys to excellent readability and user experience. Click HERE for a handful of examples taken from the sports pages of The Hartford Courant. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. Sadly, though, such expressions eventually lose their luster and become trite and even annoying. Perhaps they connect by location (as do ligaments and muscles) or by time, or by comparison or contrast, or by some other strategy. 1995. Nobody likes reading a long-winded email. Further information about expletive constructions is available on our page on The Verb "To Be". Write Ahead Teacher's Guide Table of Contents, 29 Summarizing, Paraphrasing, and Quoting. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Eventually, a student will have the nerve to explain to you that that is a brick. The following examples are taken in part from Lynn Quitman Troyka’s The Simon and Schuster Handbook for Writers , 6 th ed. Lead students through it, using the side notes to point out the important parts. It’s hard for readers to concentrate on your message when they have to slog through unnecessary words and rambling sentences. Also see these concise writing tips. Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-women's college in the United States. Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They can persuade only by showing how the ideas help the reader. When people die, we say, instead, that they have "passed away" or "met their maker" or "gone to sleep." Concise writing is often clearer and more succinct. Of course, they are right. (This online text is not exactly the same as the familiar text you'll find in bookstores, which was edited by E.B. Concise business writing uses clean, straightforward sentence structure to improve understanding and retention. Use the coupon code FREETRIAL at checkout to receive your favorite unit for free! The beginning welcomes the audience and helps them understand what is about to occur. 1.3 Concise Writing 2 Examples of writing concisely Long Better choice (often) accounted for by the fact that because are of the same opinion agree as already stated [omit] as can be seen from figure 1 And, at the silly extreme, a garbage collector is a sanitation engineer, a janitor is a custodial engineer. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. End with it. If the paragraphs (or bricks) are well made, the structure will stand. By combining an interesting topic with a specific thought or feeling, students can easily create a strong topic sentence. Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Have a volunteer read the sample descriptive paragraph. Show them that persuasive writing deals with arguable subjects (opinions supported by facts) rather than things that everyone accepts (facts alone). The ending reflects on everything that happened and helps the audience carry it away with them. Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be pared to simpler, shorter constructions. The opposite of concise writing is And just as with ligaments and muscles, transitions need a purpose. Children learn in school based on their age, what they have learned before, and what they are ready to learn now. (16 words) 4. Some writers may feel adding extra words or phrases lends sophistication to their writing, when in fact it creates clutter and can confuse readers. Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office. Recommending that a student copy from another student's paper is not something he would recommend. Emphasize the strategy for creating a topic sentence. We also recommend "The Perfectibility of Words," by Robert Hartwell Fiske, editor of the online journal Vocabula Review. Does saying that it is severely inadequate introduce anything more than a tone of hysteria? Wordy: The teacher talked about many of the different benefits of the after-school homework club when she addressed the class (nineteen words) Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when they are not necessary. Be on the lookout for important sounding phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a sentence. It seems that they can't wait to get rid of this one. Students will, of course, be bewildered by your question. . A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. As far as I'm concerned, there is no need for further protection of woodlands. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant. Before my business writing seminars, I often ask learners what they hope to gain from the workshop. Concise writing, instead, helps grab and hold your reader’s attention. However, good science writing that is not concise is rare (or non‐existent), so pursuing conciseness as part of a larger strategy to write effectively is worthwhile. Transitions helps "dem dry bones" come alive and walk around. Sign up or login to use the bookmarking feature. Point to a brick in the wall and ask with astonishment "what is that?" Legislators are already in the process of reviewing the statutes. Have students share their work with the class when they finish. what? and how? Students will likely say that kindergartners can't read well enough to understand Romeo and Juliet and can't learn about infinitives and participles when they don't even know what verbs are. The purpose of an explanatory paragraph is to give readers information that they didn't have before. (See pages 44–45 for ideas.) Start sentences with the subject. In addition to answering the 5 W's and H (who? when? Many but not all of these unnecessary phrases have been taken from Quick Access: Reference for Writers by Lynn Quitman Troyka. (Of course, many male students will not raise their hands since they do not want twisties or have hair too short to create them. They add that it is redundant to say "HIV virus" because HIV means Human Immunodeficiency Virus, "AIDS syndrome" because AIDS means Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome, "CPU unit" because CPU means Central Processing Unit. Here is a list of trite expressions to look for in your writing and speaking. The point I am trying to make is that sometimes public policy doesn't accomplish what it set out to achieve. When students object, ask them what is wrong with your plan. If they are poorly made, it will fall. Purdue Online Writing Lab. In addition to reading this section of the Guide and taking the quizzes at its conclusion, we urge you to visit William Strunk's Elements of Style, which has had a salutary effect on several generations of writers who have bought "the little book," and which is now, thanks to the Bartleby Project, online. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. 1. Assign them a paragraph topic. A euphemism is a word or phrase that substitutes for language the speaker or writer feels is too blunt or somehow offensive. Create your own list of clichés by listening for them on radio talk-shows and casual conversation. They can't really do anything. Point out to students that this one paragraph gives them the power to do something they previously didn't even know existed. Simon & Schuster: New York. Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the fact that our economy has shifted its emphasis. As a matter of fact, there are more woodlands in Connecticut now than there were in 1898. Many of them make comments like these: I would like to get my ideas across in a lot fewer words. Also, watch for sentences and clauses beginning with it is, this is, and there are. . Good business writing is concise, direct, and unambiguous. I want my message to be more concise, to communicate … Say that you don't have any milk, but you do have fabric softener, which is the same color. A Guide to Concise Writing 3.8 (18 votes) Writing Tips 26,882 22 Jan 2018 In writing, conciseness is essential. Ask students why they chose the mode (purpose) that they did. (See examples below.) Tell your students that you've decided to teach kindergarten. Writers who indulge in tired language are not being respectful to their readers, and writers return the compliment by losing attention and going on to something else. 1. Vigorous writing is concise. They connect ideas in order to do something. Often, writers struggle to identify what needs adjusting in their drafts. The main point is that writers must organize and connect their thoughts rather than expecting readers to do so. Help students understand that writing without transitions is basically just bones with no ligaments or muscles. This intro to a piece on “Precision Writing” is great because it shows the difference between being concise vs being wordy. These words shouldn't be banished from your vocabulary, but they will be used to best effect when used sparingly. Learning to recognize wordiness,… Then show them the bones with ligaments in place. A phrase that repeats itself—like "true fact," "twelve noon," "I saw it with my own eyes"—is sometimes called a pleonasm. We can achieve conciseness in our writing in several ways. Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site. You encircle the thing with lines or words, helping the reader see it when it isn't right there. Keep concrete, specific examples. Point out to your students that the lowly paragraph performs the same function. To reach readers, writers need to provide information that they are ready to learn, and put it in an order that makes it easy to grasp. In the case of this particular policy, citizens of northeast Connecticut became very upset. It can be stacked with other paragraphs to make huge cathedrals of thought. The point of this paragraph is to help readers picture the zoot suit (since hearing, smelling, and tasting are out of the question). Concise: My supervisor approved my vacation request. The military is especially guilty of this: bombing raids become surgical air-strikes and armies become peace-keeping forces. Why should you make your writing concise? Ask those students if they could follow the instructions to put twisties in someone else's hair.) A common mistake that authors make is trying to include too much information in their sentences. This will make your writing more concise—and therefore The exercises below will help students eliminate wordiness in their writing. Then you work on the details—her delicate curves, her nose, eyes, and her hair. The same is true of a paragraph. Basically, schools and other educational institutes teach students how to write clear sentences and express their ideas. Be sure that all sentences support the topic sentence. Help students realize that the order of details is in part about their subject (main ideas and supporting details) but also about what the reader knows and needs to know. Thank you for teaching! Also, help them realize that in the body, they should share different types of details and put them in an order that will help readers understand. Then ask students how could follow the instructions to create "twisties" in their hair. This is because there are fewer farmers at the present time. Ask if students can think of other reasons against school uniforms. The idea is to rid your sentences of any unneeded words and structure them in the most effective way. A cliché is an expression that was probably, once upon a time, an original and brilliant way of saying something. Have a volunteer read the sample explanatory paragraph. Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating public parks. In the final analysis, the state would have been better off without such a policy. Common examples of redundant pairs include: full and complete, each and every, hopes and dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever. It is probably enough to say that the salary increase is inadequate. Expletive constructions begin with there is/are or it is. Here are some notes toward efficiency and conciseness in writing. It is not a purely academic pursuit. Below are a few examples of ‘wordy’ sentences, and their more concise – but more effective – counterparts. This policy has a tendency to isolate some communities. This is different from the prose of novels or the beat of poetry in which taking pleasure in the complexity of sentences Watch television ads and the headlines of sports columnists to find clichés that writers are playing with, adapting the meaning of a hackneyed expression until it turns into something clever (or, sometimes, not so clever). Tell your students that you are going to bake them a cake. In other words, our brains aren't solitary. Help students understand that the details they include can make all the difference. (Be careful, however, not to lose some needed emphasis by over-pruning; the word "which," which is sometimes necessary [as it is in this sentence], is not evil.). Cut out extra words, empty phrases, weak qualifiers, negative constructions, and unnecessary “to be” verbs. Tomorrow, of course, you might have to bring in a cake. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant. 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