Perhaps there’s some self-discovery you need to be doing in order to understand why you hold onto love, maybe you need to practice more self-love to overcome your fear of rejection, or maybe you just simply need to take this time to hang out with friends and reconnect with family. ive never been in love so.. im just my rational perspective. Falling out of love is made all the more difficult when your goals and future were centered around your relationship. “Platonic love comes after the physical desire has been removed,” says Winter. Ask A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/ask-a-question/ Answer A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/forums/forum/qa/ It’s how you adjust to life together that determines whether or not you’ll work out long-term. Loving someone is the most beautiful feeling in this world. Holding on to a love lost can limit you and stop you from making new goals. Love is sacrifice and suffering, it’s not butterflies and romance - it’s being willing to give your everything and expect nothing in return. If you are talking about a romantic relationship, I don't think you ever do stop loving someone.The love can change forms however - it can change from romantic love to loving the endearing qualities a person has, or loving the time you spent together. Soo quick story. RELATED: 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone. Not being able to be friends with an ex is far from a failure. The short answer? Stopping yourself from loving the person you “truly love” is possible, but the choice to take this course is still in your hands. Loving someone when things are rainbows and happy faces is the easy part. You can start losing feelings for someone, but you cannot just randomly stop loving someone. But even if you can’t entirely stop loving someone who doesn’t love you or who’s caused you … You can grow to have a love for someone without being in love with them. “This is a compassionate, human type of love.”, According to Winter, romantic love is tricky, because even if the breakup was painful, you might still find yourself desiring your ex. Love is an emotion that’s difficult to explain and even more difficult to control. But falling out of love doesn’t mean you and your ex have to go your separate ways forever. My point is that when you start loving someone, you don’t stop. It is quite possible that love for you is still there. Alice Kelly is a writer with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment, and trending topics. But being unable to stop loving someone isn’t always a bad thing. RELATED: I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It. Are we missing our ex, or is this a disguise for some deeper pain? It’s possible that you put aside your own aspirations, plans, and maybe even social ties in order to focus on your relationship. You might also find yourself in an unhealthy relationship that needs to end, or have suddenly caught feelings for someone you shouldn’t be in love with but you just can’t seem to ditch your emotions. The love you feel toward this person is still there. And that moment is both very sad and very freeing. You may have even been the one doing the breaking up and now you’re left worrying that you acted too rashly or have made a mistake. Take care of your physical appearances and try to be happy as much as you can after getting over with the tears session as you read above. Ask a friend if you can reach out to him or her when you get the urge to talk to the person you're trying to avoid. You don’t have to pursue friendship with someone you still care for if it’s going to be too painful. Encouragement. Commit yourself to looking forward and get excited about your life again. This can teach us to hold on to love in the hopes of reconciliation when, in reality, it's better to let go. Learn to walk away from toxic relationship. I was in a 3 year relationship up until 6 months ago. But a love that feels comfortable when you remember the time together. The important thing is that you feel comfortable in whatever relationship — or lack of relationship — you have with your ex. Often, when we look past our relationships, we find a truth that was lying within us the whole time. 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone, The 5 Most Common Reason Men Fall Out Of Love With Their Wives, If someone does not love you or want to be with you, I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It, 10 Signs He's A Genuinely Nice Guy, Not A Jerk, These 4 Behaviors Cause 90% Of All Divorces, What The 'Perfect' Mistress Looks Like (According To Men), How To Know (For SURE) If A Man Wants To Be With You. “You just don’t feel attracted to them anymore. Breakups, divorce, or even death cannot destroy this kind of love. Are you idealizing a relationship that was full of flaws? Going from being in love with someone and planning a future together, to what can feel like a “less significant,” friendly relationship can be extremely painful — even impossible for most exes. I am falling in love and I don’t want to fly I just want to love you. “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. Recently I have been thinking I might still love him a bit, the good parts about him anyway. In this case, refusing to let go of love is causing a self-deprecating sorrow that only stops us from recognizing the finality of a breakup. It’s when things get really shitty is when that makes loving someone hard. You don’t see anything special about your partner. We have had a lot of problems throughout the relationship, including heartbreaks and cheating from both sides. She's super outgoing and super personable. How do you stop loving someone? “The reasons we do may be based upon physical attraction, qualities we see that we really like about them, and the promise that this person is or may be your ‘soulmate.’” Dr. Brown says this period of falling in love (otherwise known as the aforemetnioned “honeymoon phase”) can last from a few weeks to a few years. “In general, there is that delicious period where we fall in love with our partner,” Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples’ therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily. We are going to tell you what to do in order to get over your unrequited love and start living a new life without the object of your passion. “This is perfectly normal and natural,” says Dr. Brown. Your feelings may change (or fade) over time as you learn how to get over them, but it's doubtful that you will ever completely stop loving them. If you have been unable to stop loving far beyond a relationship’s end, you mustn’t judge yourself negatively. We often hear that love conquers all, but is it possible for us to conquer love? Maybe you had a parent, close family member, or friend who left your life in a painful way. But in certain situations, stopping yourself from loving someone is next to impossible. “What we see with our eyes more wide open, and how we deal with what we see in our partner, is now going to determine the viability of the relationship.”. And in most cases, if you still have romantic feelings toward them — no matter the reason for your breakup — a platonic relationship is unlikely. If you were, you’d be there with them. Relationships are complicated. But do it genuinely for your own good and follow these steps on how to stop loving someone. When you feel affection for someone, you want them around all the time. What you need to do is get your shit together. Yes, it is possible to stop loving someone for no reason other than that over time you've fallen out of love with the person they are and the relationship no longer delivers the joy, fulfillment and shared support that it once did. If you ever think about him, then take only negative and bad things that make you hate him easily. Love is free-flowing; at any given moment you can love many people at once: your friends, family and partner. This resentment can result in a lack of attraction. Here we have a change of relationships and not a change in the heart. “Sooner or later, there is going to be a period where we transition into real love based upon the understanding that our partner is, indeed, not perfect… nor is even the best of partners,” says Dr. Brown. Despite everything, we have somehow stayed together. Support wikiHow by unlocking this staff-researched answer. If your dearest one left you it doesn’t mean he or she stopped loving you. These 10 quotes will make you stop loving someone who doesn’t love you. Without condition means no matter what. This is because true love can be eternal. Time. This process can be painful. When she dumped me, I was still in love with her, and I thought there was nothing wrong with her. I'm 21, he is my "first" real bf.. my first love, first everything. There are a few reasons you're finding it difficult to stop loving someone. According to Dr. Brown, these feelings can range from “apathy, to confusion, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or relief if you’ve known for a while that the relationship is not right.” Maybe your busy schedules are making it impossible to spend time together, and when you do have the time, you’d rather be alone or with someone else. You are only human, and you don’t heal as easily as you’d like. How can you possibly stop loving someone when you never saw your life without them in it? Your past relationships may have left you with a fear of abandonment or rejection, meaning you cling to love instead of accepting that you have enough love within yourself to not need a relationship for fulfillment. But the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t a death sentence for your relationship. But in certain situations, stopping yourself from loving someone is next to impossible. Time just has to go by and eventually, (it could be years later) you realize that you are no longer in love. And ultimately, all of these factors can lead to falling out of love. There is no definitive way to close off our emotions and stop love in its tracks (at least not that I know of, though I'm open to suggestions). You feel good about having them with you, and you don’t ever want to say goodbye. Humans. Realizing that something wasn’t meant to be won’t happen overnight, nor will it instantly cure your emotions, but it’s an important step in moving forward. No one can help someone fall out of love. 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